9: I would actually prefer Emilia over Rem (Re:Zero)

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Artist: @hews__

I finished Re:Zero this year. It’s good. But this post isn’t about evaluating the anime.

It’s about being objectively correct about girls.

Take a look at Rem. Take a look at that cute blue bowl-cut maid oni. LOOK AT HER. She’s cute. She’s kind. She wields a goddamn gigantic ball and chain. She’s cute. She does a sakuga smile that melts 90% of hearts who observe it. She’ll cater to any request you’ll ask her to. She’s fucking cute. Most of all, she is devoted. You’ll never find anyone as devoted to your survival as her. She will do anything. Anything. Anything to make sure you are safe and happy. She’s the type of person who will crawl towards your chained self while essentially fucking dead just to see if you’re okay. Even if her head is twisted around to and cannot see you, It certainly won’t stop her from seeing your heart.

How fucking boring.

Emilia is the better girl because she’s independent. Yeah she’s deredere towards Subaru, but it’s about a legitimate a love as Rem’s, which is pretty fucking significant levels of love. Sure she doesn’t do much as the story nears its climax, but that’s the story’s stupid decision to force her into a damsel in distress. Don’t @ me about that. Sure she gives Subaru the benefit of the doubt, and is magnanimous enough to offer as much as reasonably possible for Subaru to better himself, but she has no patience for his shit. Oh man, does he commit a lot of shit. And she does it right when it comes to the does the worst shit ever: drop him and never have him involved with her activities ever again. God, she’s good.

You know what else Emilia has? Courage. It takes an unreasonable amount of inner strength to attempt providing for society as a half-elf. It even takes a stupid amount of risk-taking to use the name of one of the most notorious witches in known history. And remember the beginning, when she’s looking for her insignia? She ends up at the right location regardless of whether Subaru helped her or not. It’s not enough to be physically and mentally capable, as proven by her sophisticated use of ice magic and her responsibility to use it wisely. She has to be inherently capable. To have agency. Something that Rem has very little of.

This is why she’s better than Rem.

However,

Fuck both of them.

Felt is the best.

Followed by Crusch.

Then Reinhard.

I am above this Best Girl bullshit and I will never consider it any other, charitable way.

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