Monologue: I refuse to believe that my beloved anime is objectively shit

If you haven’t noticed by now, I’m pretty psyched for this upcoming episode of Kyoukai no Kanata. It’s pretty much cemented its position as anime of the season. Hell, it may even become anime of the year. I mean, look at it. Wanna know why it’s so good? If you even have to ask that question you’re probably and legally blind. Because let me tell you something: this anime is beautiful. And as you already know, beautiful anime are objectively the best.

What, you say Kyoukai no Kanata is a shit anime? That’s a weird way to say “BEST ANIME 3V4R”. Man, I knew you would agree with me that this anime is just great. I do hope you listen though, most people I talk about this to just end up disappearing without my consent. Let me tell you, that is so rude. Who in the right mind thinks it’s a good idea to just up and leave when I have so many good things to say about this anime?

THAT ASIDE, have you been subject to Kyoukai no Kanata’s buttery smooth animation yet? Have you even seen how detailed their backgrounds are? Like, holy shit. You’re just watching cool stuff happen in this show and BAM. WHOOSH. TWANG. And just about the time where you think they ran out of budget they just hOLY SHIT. WHAT THE. THAT OP. WOW. SUCH ED. OMG THAT PREVIEW. THAT WAS AWESOME. Did you SEE that? What she did with the thing? Yeah, the thing! Shit like this makes me fall in love with anime over and over again. Nothing could satisfy my craze as well as this show would. It just speaks to me.

Now hold it. I know what you’re going to say. I’m aware that you’re so enamored by my description of this anime that you too want to love it with all your- what’s that? Yes, I’m aware that you’ve been trying to butt into this conversation. Yes, you have been trying to do so with your misinformed views on this subject. Let me tell you a little something: the rest of those anime this season? Don’t take this from me, but they are so, so bad. Why? Just take one look at them and tell me they’re not ugly as hell. If there’s anything more offensive than making a bad anime, it would be making that anime offend me with its ugliness. My god, I can count on one hand the fps for these shit shows compared to Kyoukai no Kanata. Where’s my visual appeal? Where’s my moe? Ugh, I can’t handle all this SOBAD. I swear, this season is full of such uninspiring and unambitious anime. Is anyone even trying over there? Well, some people are if they’re brilliant enough to do Kyoukai no Kanata. Praise The Lord of epic moe fight scenes. I don’t even see what’s so hard about just making everything absolutely gorgeous to watch. In fact, they should just let KyoAni animate everything from now on.

Look, dude, stop. You keep pestering me about this “story” crap and I have no idea why anyone in the right mind would think that would be relevant to me talking about how amazing Kyoukai no Kanata is. This is between you and me, but that just sounds like an excuse to skimp on some quality animation. In fact, that may be the exact reason why all those anime this season are such garbage. Kyoukai no Kanata certainly didn’t need any of that and look where it’s at now! Just look at how good it is! All these studios are so focused on this whole story bullshit that they stop making their anime beautiful. What the hell, Japan. Seriously. I didn’t watch anime for six years just so that it can start acting all grown up and shit. I’m pretty sure this beautiful anime of mine exists so I don’t have to do that.

Excuse me? You think THOSE anime are better? I can’t hear you over the sound of Kill la Kill slut shaming itself into oblivion. Whatever you’re trying to say also can’t really compete with the sound of Samurai Flamenco bludgeoning itself with its own Magical Tazer Mace. Or the sickening squelch of Kyousogiga’s head so far down its own rabbit butthole. You people make me want to throw up.

Oh, now you’re going to call Kyoukai no Kanata an “objectively” shit anime? Oh WOW, don’t deny it! Well yeah, you didn’t actually say “objectively”, but that’s what you meant, right? You’re judging this gorgeous anime when it’s only halfway done? So this is what it comes down to. I’ve told you time and time again that this anime is basically perfect. I mean, look at all this gorgeous animation! Look, dude, seriously, shut up about all this crap about “character development” and “plot”. What else is there? What else is there!? I wasn’t aware that anime needed anything else to for you to absolutely love it. So why aren’t you loving it already? Can’t you just-

Actually? I don’t have to do this. In fact, I never wanted to do this. Forget you and your disgusting taste in anime. Screw everything. I don’t need this from you. I’m out. Done. I’m gonna go party with Coppelion and Galilei Donna.

No, really, I’m just gonna up and leave. Like everyone else did.

I’m not lying. I’m gonna do it.

……….

U-um,

You know that Kyoukai no Kanata anime? Don’t you agree that it’s such a shit show? Samumenco4lyfe! XD <333333

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7 comments

  1. Even if we are gonna talk about shows based on their visual prowess: sure, Kyoukai no Kanata has some good animation, but it has weak art direction. I get no sense of framing in the shots of KnK. Instead of arranging objects on the screen in an interesting and thoughtful way, all the director of KnK does is aim the camera at his subject and play through the events of a scene — this type of direction is as blasé as it gets and provides nothing beyond the superficial and salient meanings of the objects portrayed. In contrast while Meganebu! doesn’t have the best animation, it does have some incredibly good art direction. The director of Meganebu! carefully composes his shots and places objects and subjects in his “canvas” in order to create meaning and emotion beyond what the objects and subjects mean and emote on their own. So if we are talking about which show this season is visually superior, isn’t it the show that elevates that which it shows the audience?

    1. I have to admit, out of all the consequences I was expecting out of this post, a serious response wasn’t one of them.

      I haven’t watched Meganebu and don’t really plan to, so I’ll just have to take your word when it comes to comparing art direction. I would argue, however, that KnK had no intention of being nearly as… fantastic as you say Meganebu is. “Blase” is an interesting way to put it because that is precisely the correct way to describe it. There’s nothing particularly flashy or edgy about what KnK does with its colors and cinematography because the purpose is to familiarize and immerse the viewer into its world. I find it interesting that a setting that deals with supernatural being takes such great pains to seem normal in atmosphere. Whether you think that’s on purpose or not is obviously a matter of opinion.

      Also I hope you don’t actually think I was being serious with this post.

  2. The Kenosha Kid · · Reply

    The main thing I got from this post was a sense of how useless and counterproductive it is to start off a discussion by trying to assess whether something’s good or bad rather than actually talking about what it’s like. I mean, not only is the former a less interesting conversation, but it also is a good way of making differing views entirely incommensurable and devolving conversation into a shouting match. We’re much more likely to be able to come to an agreement on a character’s traits than we are on whether they’re a good person or whether their presence is good for the show.

    Also I’m finding Kyoukai no Kanata pretty fun actually despite it being objectively shit. And is it just me, or are it, Strike the Blood, and Tokyo Ravens all sort of chuuni-ish in similar ways? I’m enjoying them in similar ways, that’s for sure.

    1. So deep.

      Chuunibyou is hardly a new concept; it’s just a term which gained publicity amongst us ever since Chuunibyou Demo Koi ga Shitai! came out last year, and the phenomenon was definitely traced way before that too. Any anime that features an ordinary male lead and a magical pixie girl can be placed into this “genre”, if I may call it that. It’s premises like these that make people wish they have a more interesting life, or some attention from the world, or just kickass superpowers. Whichever comes first.

  3. It has been really fun watching people reluctantly warm to Arpeggio after the near universal anticipation that it was going to be shit because CG = shit, apparently.

    1. Blah, yet another anime I’m not following.

      To be fair, though, CG as it is now is imperfect, especially for weekly television shows and even if it is used sparingly. I recognize it immediately when it is used, and it pulls me away from the experience a bit. Truthfully, I’m more of a pretty pictures person than a fluid animation person, and I’m not really sure how that would affect me should I watch Arpeggio. I may find different reasons to drop it instead.

  4. It’s definitely not there yet, and while some shows are better than others at blending it with 2D stuff, it’s still sorta jarring to me to. However, the thing about Arpeggio is that it’s interesting and engaging and I also find that it deals with the comprehension gap between humans and aliens (or whatever they are) very well. It also has plenty for the squealing anime fan inside us all (SHIP DAUGHTERS!!!). I guess my point is I saw very cynical people talk about it more positively from week to week, which is definitely to its credit since being a fully CG show, most people were not expecting it to be something they’d enjoy.

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